Well, let's address the elephant in the room. Sunday is Mother's Day and I'm not a Mother, but wish I was. It'd be different if I wasn't wanting to have a family, it'd be just another Sunday but one where I could spend time with the family, give my mom some flowers and be done. But nope, instead it's a day that I'll yet be able to celebrate, if ever.
I recently found this blog post that was linked by Resolve.org on twitter. http://www.baptiststandard.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13771&Itemid=9
The title on twitter said : Remember the infertile on Mother's Day. While everyone is celebrating with brunches, breakfast in bed, children promising to do chores, and receiving gifts (some bigger than others) I'll be making my own breakfast, cleaning my own house, and probably buying MYSELF something to make up for the fact that I don't have anyone to celebrate me on this day. I only get my birthday for that. Not that I'm being greedy and saying I want stuff. But more than anything, I want somene to call me a mom.
Ok, my dogs and cat know me as "mommy" so maybe that counts. And I do carry my little 17lb beagle/sheltie mix around like an infant and sing to her. Could be because I'm dilusional though. Maybe they could create a Dog-Mom holiday or just an "You're awesome" day. Then we can just celebrate anyone who is awesome, and quite frankly, I am! All kidding aside, this is going to be a sad weekend for me. Lots of extra working out to keep my endorphins going and my serotonin increasing.
I wonder if my husband feels this way on Father's Day? Maybe men don't get as emotional about it as women do. And afterall, I am the reason we can't have children, not him. So if anything, he should be mad at me that day. Heck, I'm mad at me. But seriously, Snooki gets to celebrate Mother's Day but I don't? I'm an actual productive member of society who doesn't get sloshed everyday and Jersey Turnpike for the cameras. Heck, I don't need alcohol or a camera to do that!
My sister wants me to come to her house on Mother's Day so we can make some fried chicken for our momma that day. I'll get to see my nieces and play and maybe I'll forget that I don't have my own kid joining in on the fun...but it's still going to be a struggle.
So I just ask, that while your kids are fighting with each other that day and you're pulling your hair out going "I just want a quiet Mother's Day", just remember that 10% of us have a quiet day everyday. But it's not the type of peaceful quiet you'd think. That only comes when you have satisfaction in your life. No, ours is a little more of a lonely quiet. While I enjoy sleeping in for now, eating when/want I want, not having anything to really do after work or on weekends, it's not as good as it sounds. With Ryan back at work, I'm home alone most nights and every weekend. I come home from work, eat some macaroni and cheese or something I picked up on the way, watch a few gossipy tv shows, try to play with my dogs (who don't really play back), and go to bed by myself. It's definitely better when Ryan is there to keep me company b/c he's essentially like a kid, hey, that's not trash talk...he'd agree! And while I'll kick myself when I'm having sleepless nights of feedings, then a toddler who won't stay in their bed, then a pre-teen who wants to sass me...it's better than being alone (especially if you don't want to be). But I'm sure all of my mom friends would agree. Despite, the stress having children brings, getting a hug from them, a smile, an "I love you mom" makes all that disappear, right?
I truly do wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Cherish and honor what you have and if you have time in your day, say a prayer for those of us who don't have that. May God provide us all the strength to make it through!
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