I know I've said this a million times already, but I can't thank everyone enough for the support we have received! In the 3 weeks I have had this blog posted, I have had over 500 hits! It really warms my heart because that's a ton of people reading about infertility and sharing their stories with me.
Tonight my husband and I attended the Fertility and Family Building Fair in Carmel and got a lot of valuable information and resources. I got 2 different books for free and I can't wait to read them!
We also attended a very informative session with Pete the Planner. He talked a lot about financial planning for starting a family whether or not you're going through fertility treatments. But he really talked about the importance of setting goals with it and how to avoid going into an immense amount of debt with some simple saving tips. We learned in what areas of our lives we can cut corners and if we do need to finance, what the best options are for that. He also talked about the importance of "scrapping" and finding little ways to make more money like having a garage sale or selling things on eBay. We have already been doing some of that. Ryan has been mowing a lot of yards and we put that money in our little fertility fund and we have also been selling some things on eBay that we had laying around since it hasn't been nice enough for a yard sale yet (and we work conflicting schedules to be able to sit outside all day on weekends).
One thing that really hit home that Pete said was that he asked us, how many people have been offering support to you and you don't know what to say? I raised my hand b/c so many of you have said "i support you, let me know if there's anything I can do". And I usually ask for prayers, which I still believe nothing is greater than. But I finally figured out what resource I have that people can use to physically support our journey.
I would and will not ever ask for donations, to borrow money from people or anything like that. But while we were sitting there and Pete said "tell them they can support you by providing you financial assistance in some way". Ryan typed a text msg to me that just said Thirty-One. Of course! I have been selling Thirty-One products since August and have been pretty good at it, but this year I hit a slump and with all the stress I've been under, I just kind of stopped trying as hard. Pete said that the goal is to raise and earn money, not to borrow money.
So I guess what I'm doing, is reaching out to all the people who have hit this page over 500 times to consider helping me expand my Thirty-One business, thereby helping me to add more income and resources into my fertility savings.
Fertility treatments cost 10s of thousands of dollars. Ryan and I don't know how far we will have to go in this process, but while we're at it, we might as well save a lot. We have already invested and spent a great deal of money on it, to this point. If at some point we conceive and don't need the funds, we can use it for supplies for our new child or put it into a savings account for our child.
What I want to do is take the time to tell you my Thirty-One "Why" as we call it. Thirty-One is a faith-based company founded on the concept of proverbs 31. The Proverbs 31 woman was the wife of a city elder (verse 23) and a respected figure in her own right (verse 31). Some of her many responsibilities included buying and selling merchandise. You can find the entire proverb here: http://www.esvbible.org/Proverbs+31/ but it describes the virtuous woman who does what she needs to do to help provide for her family and be an ideal wife. And that is what I am doing. Trying to be an ideal wife by creating a family for myself and my husband and doing what I need to do (selling Thirty-One aside from a full-time job in the court system/addictions) in order to provide!
I decided last year to become a consultant for Thirty-One to help save for fertility treatments. So far the money has helped, but as I have lost focus of my task here, I've also lost some potential income.
Now I'm not begging or asking anyone to spend money on things they don't need. I happen to love the products myself and use them daily. I think they are practical. But above all, I love what the company stands for. I receive a commission on products I sell and that commission goes straight to helping my fertility costs.
So my dearest friends and family, while you may have seen my many posts on twitter or facebook about specials, it's really not to spam you, but to help my future and help "fund a family" so to speak.
So for those of you who have offered support and have asked how you can help, you can definitely help me by hosting a party. You can have some friends over or do a catalog party. You, yourself, are under no obligation to buy anything as the hostess as you will receive free products depending on the amount of sales your party achieves. But you will also be offered specials and half price items. And while you earn those free products, you will greatly be helping me. If you can't have a party, consider purchasing some products from me the next time you catch yourself remembering that you need a new lunch box or need to buy a baby shower gift, graduation gift, or wedding gift. I will be gratefully indebted to you and will in turn continue to keep you updated on our fertility process. I would never ask for money directly, make me earn it!
I hope this blog did not offend anyone and that I will not lose any followers. But Pete really inspired me with his words about not being to proud to ask people to help support you in the way you feel you need to be supported.
I will leave this post at this: If you want to know more about Thirty One products, you can email me at rkthomas99@gmail.com if you'd like to view an online catalog or order you can look at my website at www.mythirtyone.com/kirathomas i am willing to travel to all over central Indiana, especially b/c I'll get to see my wonderful friends and supporters!
Much love,
Kira
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Ain't Got No Money Honey
It's been a few days since my last post. Today I'm feeling especially bummed out. But I'll get to that in a minute.
Had my HSG last Thursday it was painful but quick. I definitely passed out because I'm a giant wuss. After the muffled sound from my ears went away, I understood that the doctor said that everything looked good. No blockages and uterus was the correct shape. So she sent me on my merry way. I will spare you the details but lets just say it was a little messy...yikes! I hurt for the rest of the day. I don't really get bad cramps but don't tolerate much pain...so it was like the worst cramps I've ever had. I spent the rest of the day laying in the recliner, trying not to move too much. Everything was sensitive and I was cranky! I went back to work the next day and still hurt, but not as bad. Getting up and down from my desk was painful but I got over it and medicated with buffalo wings and egg rolls for dinner!
Over the weekend I had a few experiences and shared my story with a few people that I'm not sure read my blog. I guess I've learned that people will either listen or not and that's their choice. I don't think I'm going to offer up anymore help though unless someone asks me. Because, going through this, the worse thing that can happen is that you start to share your story or talk about it, and people don't respond or worse, don't care. It's a sensitive subject, so if someone talks about it, you should be receptive of what their saying. But, live and learn I guess!
I have been amazed at the support we've received and it seems like EVERYONE is talking about infertility now. It's so wonderful to hear. On twitter last night, me and some followers talked a lot about the fertility fair coming up next week and getting the word out. I was amazed to see that so many followers have gone through fertility or are supporter of infertility awareness. Like I said before, if you don't talk about it, you don't who else has gone through it. And it is so sensitive that people keep it to themselves. But we need to not be afraid of judgment!
A couple of things I've been feeling lately: people who I know that are becoming pregnant easily. I just feel angery sometimes and I hate that. I should be happy for everyone, but I'm not. And sometimes in my career I see people who have children and feel like I deserve it more than they do. But then I remind myself...who am I to judge who should have a child? I try to keep a strong faith with all of it, but sometimes I ask God WHY? Why me?
This brings me to why I've been so bummed out today. My husband lost his job the last week of March. Although he has been offered and accepted another employment offer, he hasn't started, which means we have no income from him. We made about the same amount, so now our income is roughly half of what it was. Like most people, we don't have a ton of savings, have some debts, have a home etc... and everything we have is made to fit that 2-income household. When we decided to go to this fertility specialist he was still employed and we knew we'd "make it work". Now that term is bringing on a whole new meaning. His unemployment is still pending and can take up to 21 business days. And whenever he does start working, we'll probably have to wait until 4 weeks for that check to come in. We decided to go through with our fertility stuff because we felt like having a family was forever, but a job is just temporary. I've already waited long enough for a child. Why do I have to wait longer just b/c those A holes fired my wonderful husband?! I refuse to let someone other than myself and my husband determine our path. So we're pushing through it.
Got my first bill today that didn't have any insurance assistance.
Today I went in for an ultrasound to see if I had developed follicles. The ultrasound was $380 and then when I go in for the shot later it's going to be another $80 today or tomorrow. Insurance did cover some of our first appt, the medication, and my procedure. But we will be getting bills from them off of what wasn't covered.
The doctor's office doesn't accept Care Credit anymore b/c apparently Care Credit dropped fertility from their coverages. So I didn't apply for it. So today, I just used some of the last money from our checking (still have enough to cover extra bills and essentials) but unless you're paying...don't ask the Thomases to go anywhere for awhile :)
I also ended up getting a credit card from Capital One, it doesn't have a very high limit, but if I have to use it, I guess I can. I also ended up transferring our savings to our checking, so that stinks.
So basically what I need right now, is reassurance. That even though being broke sucks, it is for a good cause. It's not because I went on a shopping spree (although that sounds fun) it's because I am trying to start a family for us that will last forever. Some people have much less than us, don't have their own home and have to stay with relatives. Some people don't have nice cars like us or are unable to fully care for their pets and have to give them up. I would go hungry before I let my doggies and kitty starve. So I must thank God for the blessings I have and hope that He will continue to provide things for us and "show us a way".
Now, do you want some good news????
I have a follicle! It's 18cm and it must be between 18-22cm to be considered fertile. Which means it's ready to be released. Since I don't "ovulate" which means I don't release the eggs, I have to have a shot called HCG to force my body to release the egg. And then hopefully if everything (cough cough) goes according to plan, I *could* get pregnant. I am hopeful but not getting my hopes too high. I know the chance is slim but hoping and praying for a miracle. If I do get pregnant, there won't be any kind of annoucement until after the 1st trimester, for personal reasons.
So I guess all I can do right now, is hope these things work themselves out. Hope the hubby starts his job soon and hope that I can continue to afford to "start" a family. I'm just depressed today...ugh! I need some ice cream. Thanks for listening friends!
-Kira
Had my HSG last Thursday it was painful but quick. I definitely passed out because I'm a giant wuss. After the muffled sound from my ears went away, I understood that the doctor said that everything looked good. No blockages and uterus was the correct shape. So she sent me on my merry way. I will spare you the details but lets just say it was a little messy...yikes! I hurt for the rest of the day. I don't really get bad cramps but don't tolerate much pain...so it was like the worst cramps I've ever had. I spent the rest of the day laying in the recliner, trying not to move too much. Everything was sensitive and I was cranky! I went back to work the next day and still hurt, but not as bad. Getting up and down from my desk was painful but I got over it and medicated with buffalo wings and egg rolls for dinner!
Over the weekend I had a few experiences and shared my story with a few people that I'm not sure read my blog. I guess I've learned that people will either listen or not and that's their choice. I don't think I'm going to offer up anymore help though unless someone asks me. Because, going through this, the worse thing that can happen is that you start to share your story or talk about it, and people don't respond or worse, don't care. It's a sensitive subject, so if someone talks about it, you should be receptive of what their saying. But, live and learn I guess!
I have been amazed at the support we've received and it seems like EVERYONE is talking about infertility now. It's so wonderful to hear. On twitter last night, me and some followers talked a lot about the fertility fair coming up next week and getting the word out. I was amazed to see that so many followers have gone through fertility or are supporter of infertility awareness. Like I said before, if you don't talk about it, you don't who else has gone through it. And it is so sensitive that people keep it to themselves. But we need to not be afraid of judgment!
A couple of things I've been feeling lately: people who I know that are becoming pregnant easily. I just feel angery sometimes and I hate that. I should be happy for everyone, but I'm not. And sometimes in my career I see people who have children and feel like I deserve it more than they do. But then I remind myself...who am I to judge who should have a child? I try to keep a strong faith with all of it, but sometimes I ask God WHY? Why me?
This brings me to why I've been so bummed out today. My husband lost his job the last week of March. Although he has been offered and accepted another employment offer, he hasn't started, which means we have no income from him. We made about the same amount, so now our income is roughly half of what it was. Like most people, we don't have a ton of savings, have some debts, have a home etc... and everything we have is made to fit that 2-income household. When we decided to go to this fertility specialist he was still employed and we knew we'd "make it work". Now that term is bringing on a whole new meaning. His unemployment is still pending and can take up to 21 business days. And whenever he does start working, we'll probably have to wait until 4 weeks for that check to come in. We decided to go through with our fertility stuff because we felt like having a family was forever, but a job is just temporary. I've already waited long enough for a child. Why do I have to wait longer just b/c those A holes fired my wonderful husband?! I refuse to let someone other than myself and my husband determine our path. So we're pushing through it.
Got my first bill today that didn't have any insurance assistance.
Today I went in for an ultrasound to see if I had developed follicles. The ultrasound was $380 and then when I go in for the shot later it's going to be another $80 today or tomorrow. Insurance did cover some of our first appt, the medication, and my procedure. But we will be getting bills from them off of what wasn't covered.
The doctor's office doesn't accept Care Credit anymore b/c apparently Care Credit dropped fertility from their coverages. So I didn't apply for it. So today, I just used some of the last money from our checking (still have enough to cover extra bills and essentials) but unless you're paying...don't ask the Thomases to go anywhere for awhile :)
I also ended up getting a credit card from Capital One, it doesn't have a very high limit, but if I have to use it, I guess I can. I also ended up transferring our savings to our checking, so that stinks.
So basically what I need right now, is reassurance. That even though being broke sucks, it is for a good cause. It's not because I went on a shopping spree (although that sounds fun) it's because I am trying to start a family for us that will last forever. Some people have much less than us, don't have their own home and have to stay with relatives. Some people don't have nice cars like us or are unable to fully care for their pets and have to give them up. I would go hungry before I let my doggies and kitty starve. So I must thank God for the blessings I have and hope that He will continue to provide things for us and "show us a way".
Now, do you want some good news????
I have a follicle! It's 18cm and it must be between 18-22cm to be considered fertile. Which means it's ready to be released. Since I don't "ovulate" which means I don't release the eggs, I have to have a shot called HCG to force my body to release the egg. And then hopefully if everything (cough cough) goes according to plan, I *could* get pregnant. I am hopeful but not getting my hopes too high. I know the chance is slim but hoping and praying for a miracle. If I do get pregnant, there won't be any kind of annoucement until after the 1st trimester, for personal reasons.
So I guess all I can do right now, is hope these things work themselves out. Hope the hubby starts his job soon and hope that I can continue to afford to "start" a family. I'm just depressed today...ugh! I need some ice cream. Thanks for listening friends!
-Kira
Monday, April 9, 2012
I'm down with HSG...yeah you know me
Thought I'd blog while I listen to the sound of my hubby getting frustrated with the garbage disposal that just broke.
Things are going pretty well over here in fertility land though. I am on day 3 of my dose of fertility medicine, Femara. Only problem is that I'm in Estrogen hell with it...lol.
Time for a little education: Femara is a medication used to induce ovulation. Femara has 2 goals first it blocks estrogen production by inhibiting the aromatase enzyme which causes the final production of estrogen. It decreases the negative feedback of estrogen to the pituitary gland thereby increasing production of follicle stimulating hormone. It results in it results in enhanced follicular and egg development. The second goal Femara acts at the level of the ovary to increase sensitivity to FSH, allowing the ovary to respond to lower levels of FSH. This ultimately makes ovulation easier in my body.
Funny enough, Femara is FDA approved as the first-line of defense in breast cancer treatment. It is not an FDA approved method of fertility treatment, but is becoming more widely used for ovulation.
In 2011 I did 6 cycles of Clomid, which IS an FDA approved fertility medication. Many women are successful with Clomid, but my doctor explained to me that it's usually people with milder forms of PCOS. But Clomid had severe side-affects including horrible hot flashes, upset stomach (on top of my upset stomach from Metformin) and really bad mood swings aka bitchiness. The doc assured me that Femara would have less side-affects as it has a shorter half-life. So far my tummy hasn't been that upset with it, i've only had mild hot flashes and only had to turn on my fan once at work today. But I have been VERY emotional since Saturday. This time it's not quite as bitchy as Clomid, it's just more sad...I HATE it. But I gotta do it.
So bear with me people! I am full of estrogen right now! LOL. For the past few days I'm constantly on the verge of tears, I can barely be around or look at children b/c I want to start crying. This has really not been a problem for me in the past or if it is, I can hide it well...but GEESH. And then I keep having this whole "nobody cares" Eeyore syndrome. Which I know all of you reading this care! I have had an outstanding number of friends reach out to me who have been through similar situations to share their stories.
Oh and I've been REALLY thirsty the past 3 days!
Ok, I also have an outpatient surgical procedure scheduled for Thursday April 12th...yep this week. It has to be performed between days 5 and 10 so it had to be this week. Since I didn't conceive with Clomid but did show signs in bloodwork that I had ovulated, the doctor suspects I have some blockages in my fallopian tubes.
An HSG is Hysterosalpingogram. How graphic do you want me to be? A few things are inserted into a special place which allows the doctor to go in and see whats going on up there and clean everything out. She also said if there was any scar damage or other bad areas she could repair them at the same time. I get a local, but they won't be putting me to sleep. Pain varies from person to person with the procedure, I've had a couple people that I know that have had it tell me it was horrible. These were the people with blockages like me. So I'm super stoked for that...not. I'm very nervous b/c I'm a giant wuss and cannot tolerate pain. I had to take the day off work for it as I'll be sore and need a little recovery time depending on how much they get done that day. I have to stop taking my Glumetza due the complications associated with insulin and the iodine (it can cause some type of kidney damage) and I have to start taking an antibiotic for a few days to head off any infection that may occur from the procedure.
I am hoping that Thursday is the worst part of it for me. But potentially if it goes well, and my Femara works, I could ovulate this month! The rest is up to God (ok, the whole thing is, but I'm trying here).
I'll post and let you know how the procedure goes. I think it's probably an interesting process. Alot of people have contacted me since starting to post to thank me for sharing my journey because they never realized how complicated it all was. Everything is timed out to a T.
And just a bit of language information: When I say "days x &y" day 1 is the first full day of a women's period (sorry for any guys reading this) so you can count from there!
Ok I'm going to finish watching Dancing With the Stars now and pretend I'm that skinny!
Things are going pretty well over here in fertility land though. I am on day 3 of my dose of fertility medicine, Femara. Only problem is that I'm in Estrogen hell with it...lol.
Time for a little education: Femara is a medication used to induce ovulation. Femara has 2 goals first it blocks estrogen production by inhibiting the aromatase enzyme which causes the final production of estrogen. It decreases the negative feedback of estrogen to the pituitary gland thereby increasing production of follicle stimulating hormone. It results in it results in enhanced follicular and egg development. The second goal Femara acts at the level of the ovary to increase sensitivity to FSH, allowing the ovary to respond to lower levels of FSH. This ultimately makes ovulation easier in my body.
Funny enough, Femara is FDA approved as the first-line of defense in breast cancer treatment. It is not an FDA approved method of fertility treatment, but is becoming more widely used for ovulation.
In 2011 I did 6 cycles of Clomid, which IS an FDA approved fertility medication. Many women are successful with Clomid, but my doctor explained to me that it's usually people with milder forms of PCOS. But Clomid had severe side-affects including horrible hot flashes, upset stomach (on top of my upset stomach from Metformin) and really bad mood swings aka bitchiness. The doc assured me that Femara would have less side-affects as it has a shorter half-life. So far my tummy hasn't been that upset with it, i've only had mild hot flashes and only had to turn on my fan once at work today. But I have been VERY emotional since Saturday. This time it's not quite as bitchy as Clomid, it's just more sad...I HATE it. But I gotta do it.
So bear with me people! I am full of estrogen right now! LOL. For the past few days I'm constantly on the verge of tears, I can barely be around or look at children b/c I want to start crying. This has really not been a problem for me in the past or if it is, I can hide it well...but GEESH. And then I keep having this whole "nobody cares" Eeyore syndrome. Which I know all of you reading this care! I have had an outstanding number of friends reach out to me who have been through similar situations to share their stories.
Oh and I've been REALLY thirsty the past 3 days!
Ok, I also have an outpatient surgical procedure scheduled for Thursday April 12th...yep this week. It has to be performed between days 5 and 10 so it had to be this week. Since I didn't conceive with Clomid but did show signs in bloodwork that I had ovulated, the doctor suspects I have some blockages in my fallopian tubes.
An HSG is Hysterosalpingogram. How graphic do you want me to be? A few things are inserted into a special place which allows the doctor to go in and see whats going on up there and clean everything out. She also said if there was any scar damage or other bad areas she could repair them at the same time. I get a local, but they won't be putting me to sleep. Pain varies from person to person with the procedure, I've had a couple people that I know that have had it tell me it was horrible. These were the people with blockages like me. So I'm super stoked for that...not. I'm very nervous b/c I'm a giant wuss and cannot tolerate pain. I had to take the day off work for it as I'll be sore and need a little recovery time depending on how much they get done that day. I have to stop taking my Glumetza due the complications associated with insulin and the iodine (it can cause some type of kidney damage) and I have to start taking an antibiotic for a few days to head off any infection that may occur from the procedure.
I am hoping that Thursday is the worst part of it for me. But potentially if it goes well, and my Femara works, I could ovulate this month! The rest is up to God (ok, the whole thing is, but I'm trying here).
I'll post and let you know how the procedure goes. I think it's probably an interesting process. Alot of people have contacted me since starting to post to thank me for sharing my journey because they never realized how complicated it all was. Everything is timed out to a T.
And just a bit of language information: When I say "days x &y" day 1 is the first full day of a women's period (sorry for any guys reading this) so you can count from there!
Ok I'm going to finish watching Dancing With the Stars now and pretend I'm that skinny!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Fertility Support
As I've mentioned before, support is a big part of infertility, as I've learned the hard way. I follow numerous people and organizations on twitter, a few blogs, and a few pages/groups on facebook. Recently I have started becoming more involved with The Indiana Collaboration for Families with Infertility (ICFI). I wanted to post some information about them because there may be people silently reading my journey who are going through similar things.
I was connected with them through a lady who is a mutual Thirty-One consultant (I sell this to help off-set fertility costs).
The Indiana Collaboration for Families with Infertility
On April 24th they are having a "fertility fair" from 3-9pm. You can go all day, or some of the day. Follow this link to register to attend ICFI Fertility Fair
I found out that I won the first door prize for this event which is a book titled "Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby?" by Janet Thompson. I am really looking forward to seeing what this book is all about. Additionally, if any of you are thinking of going to the fair, there will be vendors, Pete the Planner is speaking, and you will get swag bags (one of which the items contained will be some mini-catalogs from myself). I've also seen on their website that there is a Tri-athalon scheduled on their website that all my avid exercising friends can sign up for.
National Infertility Awareness Week is April 22-28 and you can learn more about it NIAW there are events taking place all over the country for this. Another good website for resources is http://www.resolve.org/ where you can find local support groups. I am thinking of doing this. One step at a time though, I told you all about my struggle. So now I have to build up my confidence enough to go into a group of people I don't know and talk about it.
I was connected with them through a lady who is a mutual Thirty-One consultant (I sell this to help off-set fertility costs).
The Indiana Collaboration for Families with Infertility
On April 24th they are having a "fertility fair" from 3-9pm. You can go all day, or some of the day. Follow this link to register to attend ICFI Fertility Fair
I found out that I won the first door prize for this event which is a book titled "Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby?" by Janet Thompson. I am really looking forward to seeing what this book is all about. Additionally, if any of you are thinking of going to the fair, there will be vendors, Pete the Planner is speaking, and you will get swag bags (one of which the items contained will be some mini-catalogs from myself). I've also seen on their website that there is a Tri-athalon scheduled on their website that all my avid exercising friends can sign up for.
National Infertility Awareness Week is April 22-28 and you can learn more about it NIAW there are events taking place all over the country for this. Another good website for resources is http://www.resolve.org/ where you can find local support groups. I am thinking of doing this. One step at a time though, I told you all about my struggle. So now I have to build up my confidence enough to go into a group of people I don't know and talk about it.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
It's My First Time, So Be Gentle...
Ok...here goes nothing boys & girls. Time to start spilling my guts on what's happening in the world of Ryan & Kira Thomas. If you're reading this, you probably know us, so I'll spare you the biography of "our story". As mention in my introduction profile, Ryan & I discussed this, and ultimately the decision was provided to me in verse: "For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right" Psalm 84:11. The moment I read this in my daily verse I knew, I needed to share my journey with others. If we don't share it, we can't learn from it, and we can't expect support.
For the past three years (almost 3), I have been pretty hush-hush about our struggle for conception. We have always known we wanted a family, but I have known for several years that struggle was going to come. I never thought it would be that hard to go through until I came to it. I thought, it's nobody's damn business if we have children, quit asking me when/where/how. And we all know, as soon as you get a ring on your finger, those are the questions that immediately follow. I will never get into my complete story on the subject of children, but it is personal. For the past few years I kept it all to myself, barely even talking to Ryan about my thoughts on our struggles and when I did talk, they were angry bursts of comments about it. Why is this happening? And it's difficult to talk about to someone who isn't you or hasn't been through EXACTLY what you're going through. I don't need/want advice from family or friends that didn't struggle. I don't need/want advice from family or friends that have even slightly struggled but were ultimately successful. Reason being, I'm not successful yet. There is nothing worse than a barren woman hearing from their fertile friend how easy it all was. Sounds like a pretty harsh command from me, right? I think so too!
That was my view until about 1 day ago...
I work with people with addiction. This has been my life's work for the last 7 years as my career. Now, infertility (at least mine) has nothing to do with addiction, but there is a couple of concepts from addiction work that I can apply to this setting. The first step with overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem: HELLO, I'M KIRA, AND MY WOMB IS EMPTY. The second key step in overcoming addiction is to share your problem with family & friends so that they can a) support you and b) hold you accountable. Obviously you lovely people can't hold me accountable, because as I'll get to soon, it's not self-inflicted. But you can support me. I learned that I cannot make it through this journey by myself alone and even the support of my husband isn't enough, even though he's AMAZING. So for the past 2 months I have been sharing my struggle with infertility "a little more" with my close friends and some co-workers since I see them daily. I learned that after an important appointment yesterday, that they're support is insurmountable. I shared with a few that I had this appointment and immediately following I received an endless flow of texts and phone calls from supportive friends wanting to know what happened! How BLESSED that made me feel! That these people took 5 minutes from their day to think about me and what I was going through.
Ryan knows that I used to be an amateur journalist. Little fun-fact I almost majored in and was actually on the staff at the Indiana Statesman in college until they asked me to do an interview with the basketball coach, I freaked from nervousness and quit! So let's keep it to the giant book of poetry of written and published, yep I'm totally published, and this blog.
Ok here it goes.........
I, Kira Dawn Thomas, was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, PCOS (pee-kos) in 2007 when I started having a lot of health issues. You wanna know more about it? Google it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome it is a LENGTHY explanation because it's a very complex disorder. I always thought it was rare when I was diagnosed but quickly found out that it accounts for millions of women a year and their "womanly woes". So I've been treated off & on for it. It varies in severity from woman to woman. And of course, being an overachiever, I have an extremely severe case as noted by 2 different endocrinologists and an OBGYN. Just to keep the cysts slightly at bay I take 2,000mg of oral insulin. I know that's confusing, but PCOS affects the endocrine system and reproductive system. I am not diabetic and can relatively eat what I want, however, one with this disease should concentrate on lower amounts of carb intake. The medicine itself makes me extremely sick due to other health problems that I've been treated for since I was in 6th grade. Thanks mom & dad for the great digestive tract! So when I'm good at taking my medicine, you'll rarely see me out b/c I'm usually at home sick after every meal, very tired, and usually dehydrated from said sickness. PCOS is painful, especially when the cysts rupture. But mostly, it decreases or eliminates a woman from ovulating regularly if at all. Thus the case with me!
I've done insulin and trying to have kids, no meds and trying to have kids...no avail. My OBGYN had me on 6 different treatment rounds of Clomid, which made me a raging bitch (pardon the lingo) full of mood swings, hot flashes and horrible ovarian pain! I did ovulate but didn't conceive per my 21 day progesterone blood tests I had done for the first 3 months. I then gave up. It wasn't meant to be. Everyone else was having kids and I wasn't, so screw it.
This year rolled around and we decided to give it another good college try...so I met with a new OBGYN that specializes in working with women with PCOS she did some ultrasounds and I'm still loaded with cysts (they say the ovary looks like it's wearing a pearl necklace, yum). She referred me to Dr. Reuter at Midwest Fertility Clinic in Carmel. She is a Reproductive Endocrinologist, which I had NOT seen before. I saw a regular fertility specialist in September who essentially told me to give up. He said he'd try IVF for $40k a pop but would only give me a 30-40% chance. Thanks but no thanks, doc.
We met with Dr. Reuter yesterday for the first time and she started off with a bang! She was so friendly and helpful. Left me filling full of hope! So here's my current game plan and I'll wrap up for the night:
Started 2,000mg of Glumetza instead of the regular Metformin. Supposed to be a little gentler on my tummy. I will take that nightly, probably the rest of my life. First day of my cycle I am supposed to call and schedule my hysterosalpingogram (HSG) for a day on 5-10 of the cycle. I start a new drug called Femara on days 3-7 of the cycle. On day 14 I will have another ultrasound to check my follicles, residual cysts, and make sure no lesions have formed. Then if all goes well, hopefully this type of system will eventually work! I'll explain the HSG and Femara when it gets closer to starting them. But at least I have a preliminary plan.
I thought if I typed that all out, I wouldn't have to repeat it so much to all my wonderful friends. But I think this blog will also help explain all of the complex procedures that us infertile myrtles have to through just to have a baby.
I will end on this...those of you who were lucky to get pregnant without fertility treatments, maybe even without planning, NEVER forget how lucky you are. Because for every one of you, there are 5 more of ME who may not get that chance or who have to go through hell to be blessed with the ONE thing a woman was created to do...be a mother.
Thank you all for your support!
Much Love,
Kira T
For the past three years (almost 3), I have been pretty hush-hush about our struggle for conception. We have always known we wanted a family, but I have known for several years that struggle was going to come. I never thought it would be that hard to go through until I came to it. I thought, it's nobody's damn business if we have children, quit asking me when/where/how. And we all know, as soon as you get a ring on your finger, those are the questions that immediately follow. I will never get into my complete story on the subject of children, but it is personal. For the past few years I kept it all to myself, barely even talking to Ryan about my thoughts on our struggles and when I did talk, they were angry bursts of comments about it. Why is this happening? And it's difficult to talk about to someone who isn't you or hasn't been through EXACTLY what you're going through. I don't need/want advice from family or friends that didn't struggle. I don't need/want advice from family or friends that have even slightly struggled but were ultimately successful. Reason being, I'm not successful yet. There is nothing worse than a barren woman hearing from their fertile friend how easy it all was. Sounds like a pretty harsh command from me, right? I think so too!
That was my view until about 1 day ago...
I work with people with addiction. This has been my life's work for the last 7 years as my career. Now, infertility (at least mine) has nothing to do with addiction, but there is a couple of concepts from addiction work that I can apply to this setting. The first step with overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem: HELLO, I'M KIRA, AND MY WOMB IS EMPTY. The second key step in overcoming addiction is to share your problem with family & friends so that they can a) support you and b) hold you accountable. Obviously you lovely people can't hold me accountable, because as I'll get to soon, it's not self-inflicted. But you can support me. I learned that I cannot make it through this journey by myself alone and even the support of my husband isn't enough, even though he's AMAZING. So for the past 2 months I have been sharing my struggle with infertility "a little more" with my close friends and some co-workers since I see them daily. I learned that after an important appointment yesterday, that they're support is insurmountable. I shared with a few that I had this appointment and immediately following I received an endless flow of texts and phone calls from supportive friends wanting to know what happened! How BLESSED that made me feel! That these people took 5 minutes from their day to think about me and what I was going through.
Ryan knows that I used to be an amateur journalist. Little fun-fact I almost majored in and was actually on the staff at the Indiana Statesman in college until they asked me to do an interview with the basketball coach, I freaked from nervousness and quit! So let's keep it to the giant book of poetry of written and published, yep I'm totally published, and this blog.
Ok here it goes.........
I, Kira Dawn Thomas, was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, PCOS (pee-kos) in 2007 when I started having a lot of health issues. You wanna know more about it? Google it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome it is a LENGTHY explanation because it's a very complex disorder. I always thought it was rare when I was diagnosed but quickly found out that it accounts for millions of women a year and their "womanly woes". So I've been treated off & on for it. It varies in severity from woman to woman. And of course, being an overachiever, I have an extremely severe case as noted by 2 different endocrinologists and an OBGYN. Just to keep the cysts slightly at bay I take 2,000mg of oral insulin. I know that's confusing, but PCOS affects the endocrine system and reproductive system. I am not diabetic and can relatively eat what I want, however, one with this disease should concentrate on lower amounts of carb intake. The medicine itself makes me extremely sick due to other health problems that I've been treated for since I was in 6th grade. Thanks mom & dad for the great digestive tract! So when I'm good at taking my medicine, you'll rarely see me out b/c I'm usually at home sick after every meal, very tired, and usually dehydrated from said sickness. PCOS is painful, especially when the cysts rupture. But mostly, it decreases or eliminates a woman from ovulating regularly if at all. Thus the case with me!
I've done insulin and trying to have kids, no meds and trying to have kids...no avail. My OBGYN had me on 6 different treatment rounds of Clomid, which made me a raging bitch (pardon the lingo) full of mood swings, hot flashes and horrible ovarian pain! I did ovulate but didn't conceive per my 21 day progesterone blood tests I had done for the first 3 months. I then gave up. It wasn't meant to be. Everyone else was having kids and I wasn't, so screw it.
This year rolled around and we decided to give it another good college try...so I met with a new OBGYN that specializes in working with women with PCOS she did some ultrasounds and I'm still loaded with cysts (they say the ovary looks like it's wearing a pearl necklace, yum). She referred me to Dr. Reuter at Midwest Fertility Clinic in Carmel. She is a Reproductive Endocrinologist, which I had NOT seen before. I saw a regular fertility specialist in September who essentially told me to give up. He said he'd try IVF for $40k a pop but would only give me a 30-40% chance. Thanks but no thanks, doc.
We met with Dr. Reuter yesterday for the first time and she started off with a bang! She was so friendly and helpful. Left me filling full of hope! So here's my current game plan and I'll wrap up for the night:
Started 2,000mg of Glumetza instead of the regular Metformin. Supposed to be a little gentler on my tummy. I will take that nightly, probably the rest of my life. First day of my cycle I am supposed to call and schedule my hysterosalpingogram (HSG) for a day on 5-10 of the cycle. I start a new drug called Femara on days 3-7 of the cycle. On day 14 I will have another ultrasound to check my follicles, residual cysts, and make sure no lesions have formed. Then if all goes well, hopefully this type of system will eventually work! I'll explain the HSG and Femara when it gets closer to starting them. But at least I have a preliminary plan.
I thought if I typed that all out, I wouldn't have to repeat it so much to all my wonderful friends. But I think this blog will also help explain all of the complex procedures that us infertile myrtles have to through just to have a baby.
I will end on this...those of you who were lucky to get pregnant without fertility treatments, maybe even without planning, NEVER forget how lucky you are. Because for every one of you, there are 5 more of ME who may not get that chance or who have to go through hell to be blessed with the ONE thing a woman was created to do...be a mother.
Thank you all for your support!
Much Love,
Kira T
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)